good talk

Erin and I can go out sometime, get a Good Feed, walk it off, maybe do something else, We could have done this 5 years ago, you TV Folk have to make a Big Production out of everything. Erin is very dear to me. I see where Erin's birthday is St. Patrick's Day hence her name, I won't be around so Happy Birthday. I've been over a good portion of Ireland both North and South and yes, I've kissed the Blarney Stone. The Irish are amongst the nicest of People, I'm not Irish and that's how they treat me. I was feeling down yesterday while pondering my association with you people, I went to see "the Reader," I thought it was well done, it was really sad and a few times I felt tears welling-up in my eyes, after I came out I felt better. You people think I'm a Barrel of Laughs and your obvious concern for myself never ceases to move me. One of the People who Bill Clinton pardoned during his last few days in Office was a Hispanic who was in Prison for Moving 800 pounds of Cocaine, Bill thought that this Poor Oppressed Man should be Returned to the Community. 18 years ago I was in Panama City, Panama, a wild and wooly place. I went and saw Panama Viejo, sacked and burned by the buccaneer Henry Morgan in 1671 you can see the burned-out remnants it's real interesting, "Riches and Glory Lost Forever." One of the places that Francis Drake waited for passing Spanish Treasure Ships was Acapulco Bay, the Spanish called him "El Drage," the Dragon. After I saw Panama Viejo I wanted to go see the Workings of the Panama Canal and they have a Section set aside for tourists to do this at the Miraflores Lock. I always like to travel the way the people do so I went to their bus depot for local buses to take the Bus to the Miraflores Lock. A Black Guy, many of the Locals are these, saw me looking around and approached me and asked me where I was going, I told him and he said you get it over here so I followed him a little ways, then he said that he was hungry and asked me for some money. I said sure, I'll give you $3, they used our Currency in Panama and you could buy twice the amount of food for the dollar, he'd be hungry no more. So I pulled out my wallet and took a $5 bill out and said let's go to that bakery and get change. This guy in an instance grabbed my Wallet and started running with it almost like a football player with a ball, I was carrying a heavy bag and was taken so by suprise that he was really getting away. So I screamed, "Bandidos! Policia!" (I had seen a Grade C Western when I was a little boy and somebody yelled that when he saw the Outlaws coming over the Ridge towards the Town, I had waited many years to work this into Conversation). There were probably 3 thousand people in this densely-packed area around the Bus Depot and nobody tried to stop this guy as he ran with my wallet until after he had run 30 yards he ran in between 2 guys one of whom lunged at him from the one side while the other guy lunged at the thief from the other side, I thought, huh, he's not gonna get away. These two struggled with the thief for about 30 seconds trying to contain him but with no success so finally one of them broke free from the fray, pulled out his pistol and fired a shot into the air to let the thief, and the thousands watching, know that they meant business. The thief stopped his struggle, in the commotion I had dropped the $5 bill, it's not like anybody returned it. The Policemen had the thief and myself and a Cop who had arrived on the Scene sit in the back of a pick-up to go to the Judicial Court. The thief tried to convince the Cop that he was only making a Political Statement, that I was a Yankee and Deserved This. At the Courthouse (how much was in my wallet? $160) within half an hour of our Arrival the thief was Sentenced to 6 Months in Jail (I sent a postcard to my brother Bob saying that I don't think they have much of a backlog of Criminal Cases in Panama). As the thief was being taken away he said to me (unlike most Panamanians he spoke good English), "I'm sorry about that, but I'm still hungry." I said, "You should have taken the $3." Behind Door Number One is $160, Behind Door Number Two is 6 Months in Jail.