good talk

Recently they had the "Elephant Crush" in Central Park, where contraband ivory from 100 illegally-slaughtered elephants, was crushed to powder, wonderful, everybody loves elephants (except those engaged in this).  Unlike yourselves (no spirit of adventure), I've ridden an elephant, May, 2005, I did the 3-day Jungle Trek outside of Chiang Mai, Thailand, and this began with an hour of elephant-riding, 2 to an elephant.  I bought the trek there, and partially due to the lack of tourists because of the Dec. 26, 2004 tsunami, which killed 1000 tourists at Patong Beach (I stayed there 4 months later), the entire thing cost me 40 U.S. in Baht, this included 3 meals a day and 2 nights in two-different Karen villages.  Tourists are cowardly, especially the Americans, the chances of a tsunami hitting Chiang Mai are slim.  There were 16 beginning the trek, I was the only American.  After we all had ridden the elephants, we were told that we could feed the elephants, that is, buy stalks of maybe 20 bananas.  Strangely, I was the only one who did this, and the stalks were very cheap.  I held a stalk in one hand, and the elephant would come forward, maybe 10 yards, curl his (or her), trunk around the stalk and put said stalk in his mouth.  I fed the elephants several stalks, then I got all excited, and rushed-forward to pet an elephant, the Thai guys said, no, no, it probably doesn't make me sound too bright, trying to pet an elephant, if you have no food for him, it's a dangerous-move, and would he even feel it?  And half the time during the 3 days, it thunder-stormed, it was rough trekking, believe you me.  We spent the first night in a Karen village which had electricity, our meals were heavy on bread and noodles, pretty-tasty and filling, good meals.  At the end of the 2nd day, 13 left, they had only bought a 2-day trek, 3 were left, me and 2 young English blokes, who were experienced trekkers, to do the 3 day trek.  I had never done anything like this, I wear a size 12 shoe, and they were light with little goats'-feet.  The young English guys were pretty-good company, and so was our guide, a Thai who went by the pseudonym of, Jackie Chan, and we addressed him as Jackie.  We 3 and Jackie spent the 2nd night in a Karen village with no electricity, sleeping on straw, as in the first village, turning-in at 8 P.M. as you get tired of candle-light.  Slept real-good both nights.  The 3rd day was real-rough what with the thunder-storms muddying the trails, and at one point we had to cross a ravine on an extremely-narrow ledge with death below should one slip, I said, I'm not doin' it, you can get a helicopter to get me out of here, Jackie explained, you have to do it, yeah, I did it.  At the end of the trek I tipped Jackie 7.50 U.S., he complained, it's too much.  The entire thing ended with one hour of rapids-rafting, and I was so stiff from that 3rd day, that I could only just sit there on the raft, and we were constantly getting tangled-up, I pushed-our raft away from these rocks, I said I pushed us away, a big Australian girl who was in the water and had done a lot of the work of getting us untangled said  Shut the .... ..  I'm sure that you're now upset to learn how disrespectfully I was treated at the end of my thrilling adventure